Perspective

I sat here, yesterday, having a pity party.  Feeling sorry for myself.  Wishing that I were thinner, my home was completely furnished and painted, that I could travel like so many others that I envy.  In the midst of that pity party, Jon kidnapped me and the girls and took us out for sushi.  And it was goooooooooood.  But I was frustrated because the girls wouldn't eat or sit still.  We came home, and I sat here for 2 hours trying to figure out what to eat next week.  And I again felt sorry for myself because I feel like anything I eat inhibits my ability to lose weight.  I had a nightmare last night about someone chewing me out and calling me "nasty."  In the dream I smacked the person and made fun of her in return.  It was such a vivid and emotional dream that I even smacked my water bottle and book off of my nightstand.  Jocey came into our room several times.  I didn't sleep well.  My alarm went off at 6:00 and I grudgingly dragged myself out of bed.  Came downstairs, got my cup of Pero, turned on the computer and then local news on tv (as is my morning routine now). 

What I saw was sobering.  Horrifying.  Was I watching reality, or a Hollywood stunt and computer animation?  I've been sitting here since 6:00, jaw dislodged from my face, completely baffled.  The poor people of Japan.  My family has close ties to Japan - 2 of my uncles served missions in Japan.  It's simply astonishing to watch the images flashing across the screen - cars, ships, houses being tossed around in the massive wall of water.  The continuous shaking of the cameras as the earthquake goes on and on and on.  This is the one natural disaster that I fear most.  I don't know why - I've been through hurricanes, tornadoes, major snowstorms, wildfires, but only 1 MINOR earthquake.  Scares me to death. 

I've had a little bit of perspective dealt to me this morning.  Perhaps my life isn't so awful.  At least my family is safe this morning.  I have my girls on the couch with me and for the moment, things are quiet and still.  Jon is safe. We are relatively healthy.  We are not destitute.  And I am grateful for that.  Kind of ironic that we went out for sushi last night.  Not sure how that restaurant will be today - probably very quiet and somber.  I'm praying for the people of Japan and for anyone else in the literal wake of this terrible event.