Fired? I thought I quit!

Yesterday was our last day in the Centennial Pointe Ward. It's been a bag of mixed emotions, thinking about leaving the ward. I've felt excitement, anxiety, joy, disappointment, and emptiness. It's been an emotional roller coaster for me, trying to adapt to a ward where everyone is already established, most have grown up in this area and are already friends, and most have children that go to school together. So it's been hard for me to try and find my niche.

Yesterday though, as I heard of everyone that is coming to help us move, I had a very awkward realization - we DO have friends in this ward. We have had so many people looking out for us while we've been here. Through our ups and downs (and we've had some tremendous ups - our sealing, Jocey's birth - and some tremendous downs - unemployment, Jon being laid off, being diagnosed with PCOS), there have been some very genuine people taking care of us.

And last night, we went over to Ryan and Breque's house to play cards. I felt a little ache in my stomach, thinking that I have wasted so much time worrying about whether or not people considered us their friends. We had so much fun with them, and all we did was play Scum! But our kids had a great time together, and I really hope that we don't become victims of Changing Wards Syndrome.

Our last meeting in the block is Sacrament Meeting. I was walking down the hall, towards Bishop Rasmussen to give him Jon's keys to the church. I handed them over and said, "Thought you might like these before we disappear." "Yes, I would," he said. "We're firing you!" "Wait," I said, "I thought I quit!" I realized that while other members are happy for us, they are also a little sad. I don't say that to be boastful or happy in their gloom. I say that as a realization that there are other people in the ward that have been interested in our lives. And luckily, we have had some very kind and patient leadership in the two wards and stakes that we have lived in (our first ward was split a year after being here, and then our stake was recently split). I am so thankful that these men and women have been a part of our lives these 3 years.

I am convinced, now even more than I was last Sunday when I announced to everyone we were leaving, that we were guided to this area and placed in this ward for a reason. I am not so sure that it was for anyone else's benefit, but I sure hope that we were able to help some people as much as we were helped. God has a purpose for us in our lives, and he directs our paths. As long as we are willing, obedient, and live by faith, we can have some tremendous blessings in our lives. Yesterday when they released us, I felt a very physical change come over me. It made me sad and a little empty inside. I'm just grateful that I was able to be a part of something special, something where I think I made a difference, and something that helped me to grow.